new year old me

^ literally cos I’m one year older and now legally an adult ha ha

Tbh my 21st was a little underwhelming… I know it’s just another year and celebrating birthdays is just a symbolic thing, what really matters is the friendships that are there throughout all the other ordinary days but somehow the 21st one is particularly hyped up. I remember marvin once said sth like “there are only a few occasions in your life that you can gather everyone you know together – your 21st, your wedding and your funeral” (ok I’m not sure if he said the funeral part or I just thought of it and added it on LOL). Slightly regretting not organising my own celebration but oh well a bit too late now.

Been kinda conflicted over some things recently/ some for a while already:

– I like to think of myself as a rational person but sometimes I feel a certain way about something which doesn’t really make sense. Can’t think of any examples at the moment but it’s frustrating when I know I’m being irrational but I can’t convince myself to stop thinking/feeling that way

– I enjoy being with friends and I want to get to know new people too but sometimes I don’t know what to say/do and if the conversation gets superficial (maybe that’s too strong a word, I mean like on-the-surface and not about anything significant) for too long I become uninterested and prefer silence… think this is something I have to learn to deal with cos it’s ‘social norms’ and anyway every conversation/ friendship has to start off somewhere.

– if determinism is true and we have no free will (which I currently believe), does that make life kinda meaningless since we’re just experiencing a chain of cause and effect? I guess this can be resolved by saying that it doesn’t matter whether we really have free will, it’s enough that we think we can control our actions and make choices. If anyone has any thoughts on this pls share with me hahaha

– social media related: dunno how to phrase this. I don’t want to be a slave to likes but at the same time I can’t help feeling some sense of satisfaction when eg. I get more likes than usual on a photo.

– tech is taking over the world but some of the ‘innovations’ are so…?!? Like drone that follows you around taking selfies o__o narcissistic much. On the other hand there’s also things like the artificial intelligence revolution which is really mindblowing and scary. Not sure if I’ve posted about it before but if you have a few minutes pls go read or skim through that article!!! cos “what’s happening in the world of AI is not just an important topic, but by far THE most important topic for our future”. I rly want to do something meaningful when I graduate but I don’t know exactly what counts as meaningful too. ok this is an example of not being rational cos meaningful is just a vague feeling lol

Hmm anyway looking forward, was reading this article on things that make you happier and it made a lot of sense! (since this has become a compilation of links I’ve found interesting, adding another related one: about how our definition of ‘happy’ is lousy)

Summary of things that I’m gonna try:

– gratitude: every night, write down three good things that happened to me that day
– exercising signature strengths: do codewars at least once a week! also, not exactly a signature strength but I started an insta account for lettering, gonna practise writing a bit every day
– spend time with people you like: no specific goal but initiate conversations/ meetups more
– set ambitious goals and strive towards them: “Sitting on the couch watching TV does not make you happy. You are happier when you are busy and probably have more fun at work than at home. Thinking and working can beat sad feelings. A wandering mind is not a happy mind.” so true. Case in point: the exploreSUTD app!

Here’s to a happy meaningful, interesting and fulfilling 2017!

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